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ÜBER… ACH SCHEISS DER HUND DRAUF

In OPAK #02 schreibt Nagel in seiner Kolumne passend zum Heft-Thema “Schmutz” über eine Hündin und die Exkremente, die damit einhergehen.
Joachim Zimmermann hat ihn exklusiv für’s Blog fotografiert. Die Online-Redaktion kam nicht umhin, zwei der Bilder zu zensieren…

nagel mit hund

Die Hündin meiner Freundin Sonja heißt Rioja, wie der Wein, den es verwirrenderweise in Weiß, Rot und Einiges dazwischen gibt. Ein guter Name für einen Hund, wie ich finde.

nagelhaufenstein Nur manchmal, wenn wir nachts noch mal um den Block müssen und der Hund mal wieder zu lange in irgendeinem Gebüsch herumschlawinert, ist es mir etwas unangenehm, dass Sonja laut den Namen eines alkoholischen Getränkes durch die leeren Straßen brüllt.

Rioja ist häufig sehr übel (ich rede von dem Hund – der Wein schmeckt mir meistens sehr gut), denn sie hat einen schlechten Magen. Ohne ersichtlichen Grund lässt sie dann den Schwanz hängen und frisst jede Menge Gras, damit sie sich übergeben kann. Zuckend und würgend eilt sie davon und reihert peinlich berührt in irgendeine Ecke. Es sieht aus, als würde sie ersticken, und es klingt wie der Husten meines kettenrauchenden Nachbarn (45 Jahre Reval ohne Filter), aber danach geht es ihr meistens schlagartig besser.

nagelhaufenwieseSonja findet diese Kotzattacken lustig, hat aber auch Mitleid mit ihrem Hund. Wenn es Rioja nach dem Aufstoßen besser geht, streichelt Sonja ihr den Kopf und flötet mit hoher Stimme Sätze wie „Jaaaa, du Süße, das hast du aber fein gemacht!“ oder, wenn sie und der Hund missbilligend von irritierten Mitbürgern angestarrt werden: „Ihnen war wohl noch nie schlecht, was?“

Natürlich räumt Sonja niemals mit Schippe und Plastiktüte hinter ihrem Hund auf, was manch einer für unmöglich hält. „Da können wir doch nichts dafür, dass hier alles voller Beton ist!“ ereifert sich Sonja dann…
 

nagelmitspinnenweben

Den vollständigen Text gibt es ab 25. Juni in OPAK #02.

TEXT: Redaktion | RESSORT: Heft, OPAK #02
17. Juni 2009 | Kommentieren | Trackback setzen | Kommentare als Feed



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